My problems with ADD and ADHD

 

I seriously need to take control of my ADD and ADHD.  My mind is just all over the place.  I just can’t keep concentrating on anything for more than a couple of seconds.  I have so many ideas, so many options.  For example, I’m typing this on my Dell XPS 17” 9700 laptop.  I keep wishing I had brought by 2022 iPad Pro 12.9” instead.  But if I brought in the iPad, I’d wish I brought in the Windows 11 laptop.  I can’t win either way.  I use both of the devices for very different things but they’re all the same.  I could do everything on my laptop and I could do everything on my iPad.  The thing is, is that I have both of them.  I wish I had just one device so I could do everything just on that one device.  I could be using Adobe Lightroom Classic on my laptop along with Davinci Resolve to edit my videos.

Last fall, I purchased the Leica Q2 Monochrom.  Fantastic camera.  Amazing piece of equipment.  It’s the only camera I use.  Yet I still have two Canon G7X Mark III’s at home along with a Sony RX100 Mark VII.  I could use these for video as well.  But I have a Sony FDR AX700 B at home for 4K video.  I have way too many options.  I think when I start doing the nomad life just living in my life, I will just use one camera for the video and one camera for the photos.  I think I’ll be using the Leica for just the photography and the Sony FDR AX700B for video.  I’m going to have to learn how to use Affinity Photo ver. 2 on the iPad Pro and I’ll have to keep learning and using Lumafusion for video editing.

I keep using the iPad Pro for 99.9999% of the work that I do.  Lumafusion and Davinci Resolve both run on the iPad Pro like a dream along with Affinity Photo ver. 2.  The problem with the iPad Pro is it’s only 12.9” large and it isn’t 4K.  My Dell XPS 9700 has a 17” 4K monitor and it’s amazingly gorgeous.  The problem with the iPad is the lousy operating system and the lack of Final Cut Pro on the machine.  Multitasking on the iPad Pro is also a bit problematic.  It’s not true or real multitasking.  If Apple just ported the real Mac operating system onto the iPad, it’d be a fantastic device.

What the iPad line is missing a real operating system and some more pro apps such as Final Cut Pro.  The Apple office suite seems to need more of an update as well.  Since I’m going to be the nomad / living out of my car thing, I can only have so many devices with me.  All I really want is one photo camera, one camcorder and one device to edit all these things on. 

The benefits of a laptop is true multitasking, storage and the versatility of a laptop.  The downsides of a laptop, especially my Dell, is the portability and storage along with power consumption.  I could sit in a coffee shop for hours on end but I don’t want to be doing that.

The benefits of an iPad Pro is the size and weight.  I barely notice it while carrying the iPad Pro around with me.  Another benefit is the Apple ecosystem.  I have several Apple devices including the iPhone, the Apple watch and the iPad Pro.  I also have 2 Toshiba T5 SSD hard drives which are small and light. They’re both 2TB in storage size.

All of this info to summarize is I want to move out west to Calgary and do the landscape photography full time.  I sell quite a few photographs on the various stock agencies a month but you cannot sustain any lifestyle on the amount of photos I sell.  I thought of selling prints but I don’t know how many people buy photography anymore.  I just need multiple sources of passive income to sustain a photography career.  YouTube is difficult to do.  Currently I have 47 subscribers.  I would need a few thousand to get any real income from that.  I use Fine Art America to sell prints but those are far few and in between. 

I have to make my photography career work.  Photography is my passion.  People say follow your passion and the money will come.  I wish the money would come a little bit faster.  So here is a simple synopsis of my ADHD and ADD.  An article all over the place.  Like my wandering mind.

This is all it takes

 

This is all it takes for me to get out of a funk.  Just go do some photography.  Get out into nature with my camera and go for a walk.  It’s January 16, 2023 and I am moving to Calgary in two and a half months.  The apartment is taken care of.  I just have to find a job out there and I’ll be ok.

I belong to a few photography groups and I’m in love with all the photography from the Canadian Rockies or the western United States.  If I had a choice, I’d choose to live in the mountains or the desert.  I cannot stand living the Ottawa valley anymore.  All we have are the Gatineau Hills which are a majestic joke.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re beautiful in the fall and winter but they don’t compare to the Rockies.  I am excited to go out west.  Just need a job out there and all will be good.

Alberta here I come

 

I'm sitting here at the Tim Horton's on Lancaster Road in Ottawa.  I just finished keywording and naming pictures that I shot from last winter.  Yup, last winter.  The last 10 or so months have been an emotional hell for me.  I was basically physiologically screwed up by my ex.  It's not easy to admit and it's embarrassing to say and admit.  It basically took me six months to basically get back to being myself and being alright with myself again.  

I don't blame my ex as I should have seen the red flags and I should have bailed years ago but I wanted the relationship to work.  I basically didn't want to give up but I should have.  I actually never should have come back to Ottawa back in 2017 when I was in Calgary for 4 months for work.  But it is what it is.  I've learned from another mistake in my life.  

I think another mistake is staying in Ottawa.  April 1, 2023, I will be going to Calgary.  I am 100% sure of this move.  I just miss the mountains, the fresh air, the lakes in the mountains.  Doing photography in the mountains.  I've been single for 6 months and 1 day as of today.  Will I date again?  Possibly.  In Ottawa?  Probably not.  Right now, I just want to focus on me, my photography and my photography business.

Winter is coming up awfully quickly here in Ottawa.  You can smell and feel it in the air.  I'm going to have to find a part time job here in Ottawa for the winter months.  Just something part time in the evenings and weekends.  I'm going to have to squeeze in photography as well.  And look for a job out west.  I don't know how long I can last at DFO for.  Rumor is we're getting our crappy CS4 back.  He hates us and the team hates him.  

This weekend and/or week I want to actually upload pictures to my other website so I can actually start selling them at reasonable prices.  No more of this micro stock agency shit where you get literally 10 cents on the dollar for a high quality, high mega pixel stock photo.  The return on investment is ludicrious.  I could teach photography as well on a one on one basis but it's hard to get your name out there.  Especially now with people having a camera in their pocket 24/7.  

So this afternoon and evening, I will be learning how to setup a Squarespace website.  Hopefully, I'll learn enough to configure at least most of it.  Tomorrow, configure my website and this week look for a job out in Calgary and temp evening job here in Ottawa for the winter.

What a vacation

So I got my Leica Q2 Monochrome last week and I’ve been playing around with it for the last couple of days.  It’s a completely different system than what I am used to.  The menu system is very simple and not overly complex.  The simplicity is actually making the camera a little harder to use because you don’t have as many options.  I’ve had a few photos accepted onto Shutterstock.  Yes, I’m back to uploading to Shutterstock for a little bit just to see how things go.

On a side note, I’ve been dealing with a somewhat crazy ex.  She sent her new boyfriend with a couple of his friends to my apartment and threatened to do me harm.  Emails were sent to leave me alone or the police will be called along with her employer.  Everything seems to have stopped for now.  Time will tell.  

Now it’s just time to focus on my photography and myself.  I’ve been single for 5 months to the day now.  I’m getting much better emotionally.  With what happened yesterday, I’m choosing to be very single and not chase the opposite sex.  I’m watching a lot of YouTube videos now and I’m seeing society pretty much crumble.  I wish I had the money to buy one of those class b camper vans and just go live in one of those in the woods so I don’t really have to deal with people.  I’d love to just drive around and do photography.  Post stuff online and stay away from people.